A tech support giggle making the rounds again

[nhdonny]

Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?


Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?


Customer:Yeah....


Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?


Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....


Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!



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Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?


Female customer: A white one...



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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.


Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?


Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.


Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.


Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....



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Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen.


Customer: Your left or my left?



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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?


Male customer: Hello... I can't print.


Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...


Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, damn it!



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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...



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Customer: I have problems printing in red...


Tech support: Do you have a color printer?


Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.




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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?


Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.



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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.


Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?


Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.


Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.


Customer: OK


Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?


Customer: Yes


Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?


Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work



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Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.


Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?



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Customer: I can't get on the Internet.


Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?


Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.


Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?


Customer: Five stars.



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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?


Customer: Netscape.


Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.


Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.



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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.







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Tech support: How may I help you?


Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.


Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?


Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?



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A woman customercalled the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.


Tech support: Are you running it under windows?


Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."



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And last but not least:....



Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."


Customer: I don't have a P.


Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.


Customer: What do you mean?


Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.


Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!

[Brangwyn]

Good ones

[Francisco]

Je Je .... Based on a true story, based on my support experience